I’m only even looking at Blot because I was looking for ways to make updating my homepage easier, meaning I wanted to just write in markdown, but all the static-site generators just seem like fucking headaches. But, even if Blot could do what I need, I’d lose my slow.dog/~bix/ URL.

I want everything deleted. I want to backup everything to an external drive and delete everything. I want to delete my social accounts. I want to delete my blog. I want to wipe and fresh-install my laptop. I want to stop reading everything but books, because all the other possible reading decisions make me too nervous. I want to unfollow everything in my feed reader. I want to unsubscribe to everything in my newsletter app. I want to want to write nothing online except occasional homepage updates. Maybe I’d include a single “status” line to hold whatever I would have tweeted, but it gets overwritten with each new status and there’s be no archive. I want to just post photos to an iCloud album I can share with you, although that cuts out everyone not using Apple, I guess. I want to want to not worry if I’m missing out on something someone else said. I want to want to be inaccessible by feed. I want to want to not want to read any feeds. I want all that confusion to go away. I want to know how to get out of an internet that’s failing my brain but not anguish over feeling left out. I want there to be a way to go away from all of this but still have some idea of what’s happening. I want not what we have. But I don’t know how to want it enough to get rid of it all.

I’m hitting another bout of thinking that I should just withdraw entirely from being online, or as close to it as possible. I wonder what it would be like to be accessible only through email and text message. I’d just keep my homepage for people to know what I’m up to, or not.

There’s been an adjustment to how I’m posting the August photoblogging challenge. I’d started yesterday by including some copy that used the day’s prompt. I’m not going to be doing that after all. It’s up to you to have a sense, or not, of how my photos fit.

There’s been something wrong with my cognition and impulse control the last two days when blogging. There was the Wheeler item where despite knowing I was writing about his police chief I typed the acting secretary of DHS. Then this, where I either meant to mention each of what these three people wrote or I just wrongly linked them together without thinking about it at all. I honestly don’t know which. I’ve cleared out my reading list for the day and am going to assume to start with that I’m not posting at all today, unless it’s something essentially frivolous.

I still need a WordPress plugin or custom function that turns on comments for any posts appearing in On This Day, and then turns them off after. As interesting old stuff appears in OTD, I’d like for people to be able to comment on them.

Popping up in On This Day today is this post about research suggesting that autistic brains aren’t capable, or are less capable than neurotypical brains, of habituation, potentially helping explain autistics’ sensory overload and hypervigilance, and potentially ruling out exposure therapy for autistics. This is a good starter post if you want to know what I think about my brain, as it’s one of those posts where I draw several previous posts together in a sort of unified, “Aha! See, I told you.”