Mediocrity And My Hopeless Future

So, I don’t really at all know what I’m supposed to do with this. Someone on Reddit asked about getting SSDI as a “mild” and “Level 1” autistic with common co-morbidities. The very first reply leaves me feeling empty and exhausted.

In response, an autistic in their mid-20s posted that they applied for SSDI, as someone who’s been working since they were a teenager and also actively had been volunteering during the application process.

They were approved on the first try.

How.

Just how.

I don’t normally post short vents here, but, no, please: go read this and then also this and then come back and try to tell me how in the world someone who not only worked since they were a teenager but was working while applying got approved on the first try, while I’m left to spin my wheels and shout at the heavens.

Someone will tell me the post should give me hope, but in the context of what I’ve already been through, and what I’m going through now, it just has me feeling rejected and dejected. I’ve never more felt like the mediocre autistic.

I’m going to be poor, and I’m going to be on the street, and then I’m going to be dead.