Halfway through the course of antibiotics for (yes) my second UTI in three weeks (or potentially the same one that maybe didn’t get knocked out by the first ten days on antibiotics). I am constantly tired, and feel like I don’t fit inside my body correctly, and no individual moment of enjoyment (reading, bingeing a show, whatever) collects with any others to become a general sense of enjoying life writ large, and my interoception deficits mean increased cognitive load trying to monitor what I feel in my body (e.g. is that back ache high up where I carry tension or low and to the side where they worry about kidney stuff), which just increases anxiety and makes me all the more tired, both physically and existentially.
Published to mediocreautistic.tumblr.com by Bix Frankonis. Comments and replies by email are welcome.