Today’s psychoconsult in part involved me explaining that I don’t really know how to talk about the idea of “happiness” because the socially normative definitions tend to involve either a great degree or energetic excitation or things like friends, family, or significant others—or some combination of these two sets of things and ideas. I said I wasn’t sure, looking back at my two years using a mood-tracking app (discontinued months ago because it had become every bit the addiction-like encumbrance that checking into things on Foursquare used to be), whether I never had any use for the Great level (out of Great, Good, Meh, Bad, Awful) because nothing’s ever great or because that normative background radiation of what great looks like just doesn’t match what I or my brain want or enjoy. I’ve plenty of things, of course, which I enjoy, but many if not most of them are relatively solitary. Norms, were they to hear this, would look at me with some sort of pity in their eyes. I am trying to become more conscious of the idea that yeah fuck them anyway, then.