Delia Cai offers a quote from a Zach Baron piece on interviewing during a time of social distancing, and I’m going to reproduce the quote in question in full because I have questions, and thoughts.
One thing you learn through interviewing people is how fundamentally kind we tend to be to each other, and how drawn we are to the ritual. Our default mode is to seek agreement, to find common experience. Maybe we don’t communicate our thoughts well, but another person still nods like they understand. Our urge is to come together, to smooth out our differences, to find a way to be on the same side […] Being together almost always involves an actual effort to be together. It’s one of the most beautiful things people do for each other without even knowing they’re doing it.
Is this really a sufficient or accurate description of what’s happening during the ritual of the interview? Or, at least, is this really generally applicable?
I question to what degree it’s our default mode “to seek agreement, to find common experience”. Could our default mode instead not be “to avoid in-person conflict”, or even “to each get what we need out of this very transactional conversation”?