There are those out there that may say I need to fight harder, but dude I’m tired. I’m tired of being a Black man who has to come to a meeting after working all day to explain myself. I’m tired of being called on to educate white people for free while they try to gaslight me. I’m tired of begging for a chance to fix problems you have constructed. I’m tired of fighting with privileged allies for the right to speak for my own people when I’m being traumatized on a daily basis. I just want to feel like my thoughts & ideas matter, which hasn’t been the case with the 107ist. I just want to have a beer, jump, clap & sing without feeling like I am being used.

From My name is Milo & some of you may know me as a capo for the Timbers Army, but I actually wear a… by Milo Reed

Spare me your empathy if it does not come coupled with institutional change. Support the initiatives and institutions that help people of color get out there, like the nonprofit Outdoor Afro and the National Park Foundation’s African American Experience Fund. Help reframe the discussion about the outdoors. Highlight the stories of the buffalo soldiers, who became some of America’s first park rangers. Tell the children about Harriet Tubman’s ability to interpret the weather. Be unafraid of the historical contexts that hold weight in our country. Explore and overturn those caricatures that are deeply embedded in the mythology we perpetuate about the unjust portions of our history. Having an integrated outdoors means embracing all of America—complete with its messy origins, complicated backstory, and currently murky future. It might mean allowing someone else to claim what you believed to be your exclusive birthright.

From We’re Here. You Just Don’t See Us. by Latria Graham

What did the weekend of terrifying civil unrest that has seized America’s cities look like from City Hall? For the mayors of major U.S. cities, what began as protests over police violence triggered by the killing of George Floyd at the hands of Minneapolis police on May 25 has intensified into something else — a national uprising that’s also a complex, fast-changing threat to public safety, driven by forces and actors not yet fully understood and threaded with the unseen menace of a still-active pandemic.

From What Mayors Are Saying About the George Floyd Protests by CityLab Staff

I’m mute on social for Blackout Tuesday, but since my blog is my own space I’ll be posting here — however I’ll be focused on linking black voices supplemented by ancillary material, and refraining from saying anything of my own. (Soundtrack: have you opened Apple Music?)

Instead, it’s become normal in the U.S. for police departments to revert to tactics that amplify tensions and provoke protesters, Maguire said, including wearing intimidating tactical gear before its use would be warranted. Maguire does training for police officers and has tried, for years, to get buy-in on the idea that there could be a different way. “I have good relationships with police and I’ve been working with them for 25 years, and I’ve never experienced pushback like I do on this,” Maguire said.

From Why So Many Police Are Handling the Protests Wrong by Magie Koerth and Jamiles Lartey

Second, I’ve heard some suggest that the recurrent problem of racial bias in our criminal justice system proves that only protests and direct action can bring about change, and that voting and participation in electoral politics is a waste of time. I couldn’t disagree more. The point of protest is to raise public awareness, to put a spotlight on injustice, and to make the powers that be uncomfortable; in fact, throughout American history, it’s often only been in response to protests and civil disobedience that the political system has even paid attention to marginalized communities. But eventually, aspirations have to be translated into specific laws and institutional practices — and in a democracy, that only happens when we elect government officials who are responsive to our demands.

From How to Make this Moment the Turning Point for Real Change by Barack Obama

My biggest fear as a Black woman and public health leader was the all-too-likely murder of an unarmed Black person at the hands of police leading to mass protests amid the virulence of two infectious diseases: racism and Covid-19. And here we are, a few weeks later, in the nightmarish scenario I can’t unsee: Black America and allies, rightfully angry and fed up with 400-plus years of racist violence and white supremacy, taking to the streets to protest in cities around the country and the world.

From My nightmare: Covid-19 meets racism meets the killing of a Black person by police by Lauren Powell

We all know the James Baldwin quote about how being black and relatively conscious means being in a rage all the time. This is also the plight of the black journalist. If you think consuming black death day in and day out can be remedied by some “emotional distance” and “journalistic integrity,” you are wrong.

From Black Journalists and Covering the Storm That Never Passes by Danielle C. Belton

Proof of today’s evening walk through my part of St. Johns, accompanied by 50FOOTWAVE’s Golden Ocean for multiple raging purposes.

Meet Adam Mazza, My Instagram Bully

Back in March, there’d been a pandemic-prompted reunion of sorts of my original online community (scroll down) that I even touted in response to a call for items from a newsletter I read. It didn’t, for me, even last a month, because of reasons I’d tweeted and also posted to Instagram at the time.

Fast forward to the end of May and the beginning of June, when a completely-unrelated person from that same community fell like dick from the internet sky.



Full disclosure: between the first and the second comments was my only reply: “Yes: fuck you.”

To be clear, waking at noon was both due to a recurring fatigue condition and mental health stresses during social distancing lockdown, and the AirPods are for the active noise cancellation I use to mitigate autistic sensory sensitivities. The selfies, like most people’s selfies, are to mark the pushing through.

Adam Mazza, my Instagram bully, is engaged in online harassment that’s reached the point of bullying me over disability. He’s been reported to Instagram as such, and will continue to be with each new post. I haven’t blocked him because I want him to keep digging his own virtual grave.

I also note a common irony of the internet bully: trying to shame people into thinking no one cares about what they have to say…by repeatedly responding to what they have to say.

One thing I have a greater appreciation for because of this, although I wouldn’t go so far as to say I thank Adam Mazza, my Instagram bully, for the lesson: I’m not a suicidal ideation guy, I’m not a self-harm guy, but the massive anxiety spike caused by each of the comments so far by Adam Mazza, my Instagram bully, definitely helps me understand a little better why online bullying and harassment can lead people there.

Oh, for the halcyon days when all I had to criticize Instagram for was the out-of-order feed hurting my autistic brain. To stay on point: it’s safe to assume Adam Mazza, my Instagram bully, would see that as just more complaining my four 227 followers don’t care about.

Here’s what centrists/moderates will say about the current crisis: if Mine Furor’s publicity stunt today, as CNN reported, was because he was embarrassed by coverage of him running to a bunker the other day, they will exhort and implore people not to embarrass him any further.

CNBC:

Several ViacomCBS TV networks, including MTV, Comedy Central, VH1 and more, ran eight minutes and forty-six seconds of breathing sounds with the words “I can’t breathe” Monday evening.

The company said the video is meant to show its support for the Black Lives Matter movement and the fight against police brutality and racial inequality. The video also displays a way for viewers to text Color of Change, an organization that says it provides online actions and in-person events for people to stand up to racial injustice.

So, by noon today I was so fatigued I almost couldn’t get from the couch to the bed, a distance of all of about two yards. Then I slept for three and a half hours. I wake up to a news alert that Mine Furor is about to speak, which of course I don’t watch. Apparently he threatens to invoke the Insurrection Act in any state where governors don’t call up the National Guard. Then the cops storm peaceful protestors away from the White House just to he can go stand in front of a church holding a Bible and get his picture taken. All of this after an unhinged telephone call where he told governors they had to “dominate” protestors or risk looking like “jerks”, his Defense Secretary said to dominate “the battlespace” when referring to American cities, and the governor of Illinois called him out. And that phone call came after an earlier one between Trump and…Putin?

It’s Monday.