It’s difficult to remember a time in Portland when getting almost hit by a car when I had the pedestrian right of way wasn’t a fairly regular thing. Certainly at least since moving to St. Johns it happens at least weekly.

These near misses are especially enchanting in a week like this one where I’m already feeling very surplus thanks to the Social Security Administration. It makes me almost wish that if the world wants rid of me so badly, perhaps it should stop taking these half-measures and just find a sure way to get it done.

I’m over it.

Oregon needs to adopt legislation mandating that all drivers retake both the written and the driving tests every five years, with no exceptions or exemptions.

Let me be explicit: this isn’t about older drivers. I’ve almost been killed by drivers of all age groups. If you’re ninety and can pass the tests, good for you. If you’re thirty and cannot, you should lose your license.

I’m done with drivers who think that turn signals are only for when there is a car behind them.

I’m done with drivers who think that marked crosswalks are where you put your car while waiting for the light.

I’m done with drivers who don’t know or care that all intersections in Oregon are crosswalks.

I’m done with drivers who think that red lights are but inconvenient suggestions.

I’m done with drivers who seem to think that pedestrians are some kind of a myth.

Your two-ton machine doesn’t come with a rule book that says only the strongest survive. In fact it literally comes with a rule book that says with the power comes the responsibility.

If you can’t manage to pass the written test every five years, if you can’t manage to pass the driving test every five years, you should lose your license until and unless you can.

You’re not owed a license. That’s not a thing. Your license should not be a lifetime pass as long as you don’t get caught. You deserve one if you can demonstrate that you do, and you should be made to prove that over and over again.

It would still be far less of an inconvenience for you than almost getting killed weekly is for me.