Despite yesterday, I’d had intentions for today. Or, at least, intentions for having cheap bar breakfast in the neighborhood. Then I woke up like this and kept going back to sleep, not to leave bed until 11:00am. While I managed to make a proper breakfast at home, after watching two episodes of Battlestar Galactica I went back to bed, where I slept until 5:00pm, awaking with an excruicating, mind-splitting headache from a dream where people I knew had just randomly showed up at my apartment and tried to turn on all the lights I’d turned off and make me smoke pot and wouldn’t leave and I was only getting more and more angry. By an hour later, the headache mostly subsided after two Excedrin, three hunks of cold chicken breast, and a can of seltzer. Today’s only potential upside is that Health Share of Oregon seems to be indicating to me that since my primary care physician at Kaiser is located in a “patient-centered primary care home” I should be able to access “low-level” mental health care—which appears to mean occasional, not ongoing/longterm, care. It wouldn’t solve my larger failure to find a psychoconsultant through Health Share but it might solve more nearterm issues like potentially needing a new letter to release me from work requirements under my SNAP benefits. Much like with actions and apologies, (your own) intent often matters far less to one’s day than (your own brain’s) impact. The impact of my brain today yielded a clusterfuck.

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Hello. My name is Bix. @bix